The Garden Reborn

I stopped writing for a while and I have to tell you why.

I thought 2014 has been my best year. I got married in September and we were all very happy and excited.

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Then something terrible happened. My mother passed away shortly before Christmas. It was very difficult for me. I think it is always hard to deal with death in the family, but it’s harder to deal with it during holidays. I felt terrible because everybody else celebrated Christmas and I was grieving. I was desperately sad and lonely.

I realized that no one loves you like a mother and that she won’t call me or hug me anymore. My birthdays will be sad, since we have birthday on the same day. But I am happy that she was there on my wedding day. I am a lucky person to have a mother like her.

Then I remembered that gardening could help me get happier.

So I started to work in my garden. I have removed winter mulch, planted veggies, divided perennials, ordered bulbs and seeds.The temperatures are still unpredictable, so I am being challenged. Strong winds and heavy weather are not ideal for gardening, so I have to be flexible about my transplanting and direct sowing dates.

Wake up your garden!

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52 thoughts on “The Garden Reborn

  1. Life is so much interspersed with joy and sorrow that it is almost I,possible to separate them. I am so happy that your mum was around for your joyful wedding day. I lost my mum around Christmas too three years ago. I miss her then but also very much at Easter too. The garden has something eternal about it that draws us in. Here in Quebec, winter is hanging on for dear life but it cannot be forever. Even now there are a few tender shoots up….and light snow forecast for tomorrow! Bon courage and glad to see you back!,

    • Thank you for your kind words.
      I understand how you feel. I think about her all the time. Christmas was terrible, but I missed her also at Easter. Actually, I miss her everyday. But I have to be strong and to continue my life, to take care of my father and our garden.
      I hope spring will arrive soon in Quebec! πŸ™‚

  2. Sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost my brother suddenly before Halloween, and I know I still find it a challenge to get through the day quite often. Keeping your hands busy in something that will eventually give you beauty and enrich your life is a great way to help lighten everything around you. Enjoy your garden and the lovely memories of your mother, they will help get you through the dark days.

  3. Glad to see your words back on the blog. My mother has been gone for almost six years and I hear her voice in my head most often in the garden (telling me to wear gloves)
    Hope the change in seasons and the garden help you work through your grief.

  4. Glad you are back, and a good time of year for it. I am sorry to hear about your mother. It was about 10 years after my mother died that I stopped having thoughts like “Wait ’til I tell Mom about this!” I am glad for your marriage.

  5. So sorry about your Mom. I know everything changes after losing one’s Mother. Glad you are able to find solace and work through your grief in the garden and that you have someone to love and who loves you by your side.

  6. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Many (and I do mean many) years ago, when I was 13, I also lost my mother shortly before the holidays–in mid-November. I do so know what you mean about everyone else’s celebrating the holidays when you are feeling that you’ll never again be able to. I can say that, while you will never get over the loss of your mother (it has been over forty-eight years for me now, and I haven’t really gotton “over it”), the days will slowly get easier to get through. When I finally had my own children, I felt that, in a way, I got her back. I realized that what I got back was that mother-child relationship, only the roles had now been switched. Now that you are married, you have a chance to make a new family and be to some very fortunate child the mother that you had. God bless you and give you peace.

    • I feel the same. Many people told me that it will be better with time, but I do not believe in this. I still miss her and think about her everyday. The only thing that changed is that I can smile again and talk about her without crying immediately.
      But I think this is normal. That we never forget them, although they are not with us anymore.
      God bless you too!

  7. Heartfelt sympathy, Andrea. You will always feel close to your mom while you are working in your garden. I hope it will feel like a comforting place, filled with sweet memories. A garden is also filled with hope and joy. Look for the small moments in your garden to celebrate! It might be lovely to add a special bench, where you can sit and be with your mom. Sending hugs… β™‘

  8. I am sorry for your loss. Time will help, although you will always miss her; it won’t be as raw after a few years. Enjoy the outdoors. Nature is a very soothing, healing, miracle.

  9. So sorry to hear about your mum. I like being in the garden when I feel down or sad as it always lifts my spirit. I hope you can find solace there too. It’s hard to get back on track after such a loss but you’ve made a big step – your garden will be there to remember your mum but will also be there to celebrate your marriage.

  10. I am so sorry to read about the loss of your mother. I hope that your beautiful garden will help soothe the pain. When my father passed, I took a cutting of some of his favourite plants and they are a great reminder to have in the garden.

  11. Congratulations on your wedding, but so sorry for your loss. I’m glad that gardening has helped you find solace; I always feel more at ease when working with the soil and tending to my plants. Beautiful photos and flowers. ❀

  12. Andrea the same thing happened to me in 2001. My husband and I married in August and mom died on Dec. 7th. It was the worst thing I have ever been through and so I certainly sympathize with you. It may sound selfish but I felt that no one in the world would ever believe in me like she did. I miss her for more reasons than that but, thankfully, I do feel her presence in the garden …and in my heart. Blessings to you as you heal, and may your garden soothe your aching soul.

    • I am sorry for your loss.
      It is really hard to get through it and I am sure we will miss them everyday. I feel her presence too…sometimes I think she is with me, sitting in her favourite chair.
      God bless you too!

  13. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. There are no rules. You will never stop thinking of her, that is good, but one day you will be able to find your new normal, your new life and that ache you feel in you heart will not be your constant companion. It wiil get better…

  14. Good to see you back in the garden and cyberspace, and sympathy for the loss of your mother. I believe sadness too is a fertiliser…

  15. Sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. I suffered some losses this past winter too and can relate to what you experienced. Keep gardening and posting your observations.

  16. Why not look to the one who wept in a garden and was buried in a garden? No one know loss like Him….

  17. Thank you for your response to my telephone treatise. Losing your mom is always sad even when you know it is time for her to go. But digging in the dirt is renewal — not only of what’s planted, but a renewal of life for yourself!

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